A New Name

RingsI changed her name today. Finally. It’s been official for several weeks.

She’s been on my mind about her travels, her return to the USA and settling into her new home.

The transition in her has been gradual, consistent, and wonderful to watch. She has had the same name for 22 + years so changing it was something that didn’t come automatic for me.

Yesterday I told Siri to call Emily Branson. The name appeared on the screen of my phone, the number was dialed and began to ring. Then I remembered — that wasn’t her anymore. Emotion stirred in me for a moment as I waited for her to answer; it was like time flashed through all the years with her in my mind.

“Hello Dad!” What sweet words to hear.

I think I choked out a “Hi, honey”. I do remember confessing immediately to her that I had not changed her name in my phone yet. Her familiar giggle warmed me inside.

After our brief call I set my phone down. I was busy, but not enough to have taken a couple of seconds to go into my Contacts and make a change. But I wanted to wait one more day.

The ceremony was finished, I had placed her hand in the hand of Josh Smallbone. I joined my wife and his parents in a prayer of blessing over them. I wrote them a letter and gave it to Josh in a Baton to symbolize the hand off of my protection of her to him.Parent's prayerThrough the Doors

Yet, my phone still held her close from the past. I reflected with it about her. It shared the emails, texts and photos of Emily Branson. Sweet memories; thank you phone.

This morning my phone and I released her to be the new person she will become and I am so happy for the expansion of my relationships, not the end. I gained a son, I didn’t loose a daughter. They both gained a great spouse.

Life transitions are constantly happening to us. If you are a follower of Christ reading this, I urge you to think of the change you are going through as His Bride.

Revelation 2:17 tells us “…and to each one who is victorious I will give a new name engraved on a White Stone.”

I believe that Josh and Emily will have many joys and will be victorious over the challenges in their marriage until physical death parts them. I hope and pray that your relationship in your marriage to Christ will do the same.

How wonderful the day when Jesus says, “I changed his/her name today”. Then you hear the Father call you by it and you say, “Hello Dad!”

57

57 mile markerToday is my birthday.  It is a good mile marker.  I can glance over and think about where I am on the road of life.

My mother posted on Face Book, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON! 57 years ago (now) I was at Western Baptist Hospital in Paducah, Kentucky waiting for his arrival. We have weathered many storms. Love you Keith. mom”  She, now 81 years young, is the only remaining member of my immediate family from Paducah. My dad and younger brother died in 2008.  Mom’s post made me wonder what it was like for her in the delivery room birthing her first child. Dad was outside of the room somewhere, no doubt with cigars in hand to pass around. That was the tradition then.

I also ponder today my own immediate family and what each of my birthdays have meant since they have been in my life. My oldest daughter has been a part of my birthday celebration 23 times. She was again today as we had a phone call over Viper from her apartment in Germany. My next daughter, a 21 birthday veteran with me, shared a meal and time together yesterday before she returned back to her final days of school at Lee University. My son, 18 birthday celebrations, greeted me at breakfast on his way out to work and will be home to celebrate tonight with me and my wife, who has wished me a special day 27 times now.

Birthdays are interesting. People contact you on that day with a special acknowledgement that may not come again for another year. It is a special day to remember. For me, I enjoy giving to others so much that it seems a birthday should be filled with such gratitude that I thank others, who have been, and are now a part of my life. I should send my mom flowers on my birthday. I want to let everyone who cares about me know how much I care about them and how much I appreciate their friendship and love.  Even over the years and miles, love continues.

I miss many people who have been a part of my birthdays past. Some I have lost touch with in the drift of time and distance. Some have passed over to life beyond the earth. If they are able to know what happens in the present, I hope they are cheering me on today. I think I will let a helium filled balloon go today just to send them a thank you.Birthday balloons

There are so many types of gratitude I have today, more than I can list now.  Here are 57 of them…

  1. I am a son with a legacy of a mother and father who love me and tried hard to provide for me and my future.
  2. I am a brother with a younger brother who taught me a lot about myself in the way I treated him both good and bad.
  3. I am a nephew with a wonder set of uncles and aunts who have always shown me love and acceptance.
  4. I am an uncle with opportunities to show my love and acceptance to my nieces and nephews.
  5. I am a cousin with cousins who have been a fun part of my childhood and still inspire me today.
  6. I am a husband with a wife who is a beautiful, amazing companion.
  7. I am a father with three children I admire and love so deeply and two that I will meet one day in heaven.
  8. I am a follower of Jesus Christ with an unquenchable desire to know Him more, grow in Him more and show more of Him.
  9. I have heard God’s voice in my inner spirit.
  10. I am prayed for.
  11. I am spiritually aware enough to know to pray for others.
  12. I am a spiritual friend to many other Christians who contribute into my life and receive from me.
  13. I have had the honor of performing weddings and funerals.
  14. I am a life coach with a passion to help others move forward in life.
  15. I am healthy, physically, mentally and spiritually.
  16. I live in a beautiful place.
  17. I have great neighbors.
  18. I have people both near and far who want to learn from me.
  19. I have people both near and far who teach me.
  20. I am open to learn.
  21. I am open to share.
  22. I seek more; not earthly things, but eternal things for others and myself.
  23. I live in the present, less bound by the past and less fearful of the future.
  24. I get to eat and drink safely each day.
  25. I have never really been starving, even though with hunger I have said so.
  26. I have a comfortable, clean bed.
  27. I have more than enough shelter for me and others who share it.
  28. I have learned to stop whining and complaining.
  29. I can read and understand, almost anything in English and a lot in Spanish.
  30. I don’t have to eat butterscotch.
  31. I like to laugh.
  32. I can make others laugh; and sometimes groan with my humor.
  33. I have been able to be a peacemaker in conflict.
  34. I have been able to be a mediator to help agreements come together.
  35. I have been a reconciler of people to God and to each other.
  36. I have been broken enough times to know I need God and others.
  37. I have been wrong enough to know I will never know it all and must be open to be taught.
  38. I have people in my life that will speak to the truth to me in love.
  39. I have forgiveness.
  40. I give forgiveness.
  41. I have come to know who I am in Christ.
  42. I have learned about the power of shame and how to help myself and others with an antidote.
  43. I have finally begun to enjoy playing cards.
  44. I got to fly like a bird in a hang glider.
  45. I have traveled around the world and met people on every continent except Antarctica.
  46. I have met many famous people.
  47. I have met many infamous (unknown) people.
  48. I have been cared for by the very poor.
  49. I am learning to see Jesus in those I hadn’t recognized Him before.
  50. I give smiles away.
  51. I have received so many smiles.
  52. I hug freely.
  53. I have been hugged much.
  54. I dream big and remain filled with hope.
  55. I have rejected passivity.
  56. I have become courageous.
  57. I am just beginning to live, not ready to retire.

So, thank you for reading all the way down to here.  My birthday wish is for you to find peace and joy today in your life. May your mile markers give you pause to reflect and grow in forgiveness and gratefulness in your journey ahead.

As I was writing this my son called to ask me what I wanted to do tonight.  He, my wife and I will be serving birthday cake to the homeless in downtown Nashville. Now that is a birthday party I can enjoy!

 

Who Do I Say I Am?

9567527_s“People-Pleaser” has been a label that I have carried for most of my life.  It is a part of the unhealthy self-talk that I have going in my mind.  I am guilty of personalizing events in life as personal rejections of me. This is a form of distortion where I will overestimate the extent an event or words said, (or not said,) are related to me.

You probably know someone who has this noise in their head sometimes too, I am sure of it.  If the people I am around are not in a good mood or if there is disharmony then I am very uncomfortable.  I will begin to ask myself if I am the cause of it somehow. That question can lead me down a slippery slope of negative self-talk. See if you identify the unhealthy thinking pattern I have struggled with as you read the descriptions below.

The Bible has a blueprint for replacing this faulty thinking and replace it with true beliefs. It comes from Scriptures that say we shouldn’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We need to take our thoughts captive and cast down our vain imaginations, knowing the truth will set us free…because as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

So, how do we make that practical in our lives daily? Where do we begin? Start by looking at some of the typical lies that occur in our personal lives and relationships.

In the workbook, Intimate Encounters: Discovering the Secrets of a Really Great Marriage, Dr. David Ferguson lists six of the most common unhealthy thinking patterns that contribute to emotional pain. We all seem to fall victim to one or more of the patterns (listed below).

In order to stop the effects of these unhealthy thinking patterns, you must:

1. Identify which of these are most common for you.

2. Become aware of events/situations that trigger your thinking and emotions.

3. Recognize what you are saying about yourself. Your self-talk is a “belief” system about yourself.

4. Notice your responses in behavior and emotion to the event/situation.

5. Challenge your negative thoughts with truthful thoughts that you choose to tell yourself and then enjoy feeling positive!

It takes time, but this really will work. It has helped me derail these attacks on myself. By telling yourself truthful statements, you can change your thinking patterns.  It is not easy, but with practice and patience you can do it.

Two important tips:

1. Keep a journal for at least a week to analyze your own self-talk.  By realizing your unique style of dealing with life, you can make rapid changes in your attitude and behavior where it is needed!

2. Have someone help you with reminders of the truth as you attempt to confront these  distortions in your thinking patterns and self-talk.

Six Common Unhealthy Thinking Patterns (from Intimate Encounters,Chapter 13, Break Free from Unhealthy Thinking)

  1. Personalizing – Taking external events as personal rejections and attacks. Taking everything personally is a form of distortion in which a person overestimates the extent an event is related to him or her. Moody and easily hurt by so-called rejections. Filled with insecurities, they develop low self-esteem and may blame themselves for everything.  Others see them as “fragile,” overly sensitive, childish, even hysterical. Frequently “personalizers” felt rejected in childhood or came from highly critical home environments. Whether the rejection was overt and abusive, or more subtle and neglectful, the child grew up with negative self-talk, such as, What is wrong with me? I can’t do anything right.  It’s my fault.  Who cares about me? I’m worthless.
  2. Magnifying – “Makes a mountain out of a molehill!” They can be volatile with anger, unmerciful with self-condemnation, or “bottomless” with self-pity. Others may consider them self-absorbed, preoccupied with their own crises, whiny, and over-reacting. They may say things like: devastated, worst, ruined, terrible, horrible, awful. “Magnifers” may have developed this distorted thinking in a home environment where little things were blown out of proportion. Spilled milk merited a character attack; discipline was excessive and out of proportion to the offense; or one parent was preoccupied with loneliness, rejection, or fear, seeing catastrophes in every situation. Another common childhood pattern is the “overly responsible” child who filled a relational vacuum in his home, seeking to hold the family together by pleasing everyone or meeting one parent’s emotional needs due to a breakdown in the marital relationship. Such children often become overwhelmed by life’s events.
  3. Overgeneralizing – “History always repeats itself.” Generalizing is relying on past events to predict the future. This can undermine your worth, cast doubts on your adequacy, and prevent you from trusting others or yourself. With this self-defeating style of thinking, a person can conclude, “No matter what I do, I will never get along with that person.” “Overgeneralizers” carry around loads of anxiety, doubt, and fear. They hold onto past hurts, failures, and rejections, and recite them as evidence for their gloomy attitude toward the future. They figure, “Why try? The past will just repeat itself.” Other people view generalizers as fearful, untrusting, or unforgiving. They were often exposed to this way of thinking in their home environment.
  4. Emotional Reasoning – Seeing reality through the skewed perspective of your emotions. Convinced something is so just because you feel it. Or denying the truth because you don’t feel it. This unhealthy thinking can come from a past home life dominated by fear or mistrust, physical or sexual abuse, parents who hurled accusation at you, such as “I just know you’ll go off and get pregnant some day!” Or, “You’re going to turn out just like your (fill in your own negative role model here) if you keep this up!” And it can lead to growing up feeling a nagging sense of worthlessness and betrayal.
  5. Polarizing/Selective Abstraction – Perfectionist thinking pattern that views life as all-or-nothing, good-or-bad, black-or-white. More than a little difficult to live with, “polarizers” hold to rigid rules for evaluating their life and relationships; they classify events as right or wrong, good or bad; and they judge their performance (or other’s) on the basis of their own impossible standards. They feel no satisfaction in modest performance or genuine effort,and there’s little joy in success, since it was expected all along. But, when  they don’t attain their idea of perfection, they’re likely to suffer great anger and despair. “Selective Abstraction” is an offshoot of Polarizing. “Missing the forest for the trees.” Focus is on what is wrong rather than on what is right. They spend time and energy fussing and fuming over a few minor problems when they could have invested the same time and energy toward positive solutions.
  6. Minimizing – “It really doesn’t matter.” Denying or discounting any feelings associated with the significant events of their life. “Minimizers” tend to verbalize few emotions themselves and expect the same from others around them, often leaving loved ones lonely, frustrated, and feeling deeply wounded. Even during tragic events, minimizers often demonstrate little or no feeling. They deny that anything troubles them, and, when pressed to communicate, they may give facts, opinions, or data instead of vulnerably sharing their needs and feelings. Often minimizers come from homes where personal needs are neglected or overlooked. In an effort to avoid the pain of unmet needs, children in these environments will learn to deny their own needs, lose touch with their feelings, and reduce to a minimum their personal sharing.

As you read the traits of each of these unhealthy thinking patterns, do you see yourself in any of the descriptions? What effect has it had on you? On your marriage, children or other relationships?

Who Do People Say I Am?- Part 1

Angry WordsWhat I have learned overtime is most people don’t think about us or what we have done or how we are feeling as much as we may think they do! We may want; even need, more attention, acceptance, and approval from others, but having a hyper-focused worry, dread, suspension on how we are being perceived is a thinking path that leads to negative feelings, thinking and ultimately behavior.

It is also interesting to consider the person, or persons, that are talking about you.  According to 1 new research by a Wake Forest University psychology professor, how positively you see others is linked to how happy, kind-hearted and emotionally stable you are.

Your perceptions of others reveal so much about your own personality,” says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest and lead author of the study, about his findings. By asking study participants to each rate positive and negative characteristics of just three people, the researchers were able to find out important information about the rater’s well-being, mental health, social attitudes and how they were judged by others.

The study appears in the July issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Peter Harms at the University of Nebraska and Simine Vazire of Washington University in St. Louis co-authored the study.

The researchers found a person’s tendency to describe others in positive terms is an important indicator of the positivity of the person’s own personality traits. They discovered particularly strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person describes oneself and is described by others.

“Seeing others positively reveals our own positive traits,” Wood says.

The study also found that how positively you see other people shows how satisfied you are with your own life, and how much you are liked by others.

In contrast, negative perceptions of others are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior. “A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively,” Wood says. “The simple tendency to see people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders.” Given that negative perceptions of others may underlie several personality disorders, finding techniques to get people to see others more positively could promote the cessation of behavior patterns associated with several different personality disorders simultaneously, Wood says.

This research suggests that when you ask someone to rate the personality of a particular coworker or acquaintance, you may learn as much about the rater providing the personality description as the person they are describing. The level of negativity the rater uses in describing the other person may indeed indicate that the other person has negative characteristics, but may also be a tip off that the rater is unhappy, disagreeable, neurotic — or has other negative personality traits.

Raters in the study consisted of friends rating one another, college freshmen rating others they knew in their dormitories, and fraternity and sorority members rating others in their organization. In all samples, participants rated real people and the positivity of their ratings were found to be associated with the participant’s own characteristics.

By evaluating the raters and how they evaluated their peers again one year later, Wood found compelling evidence that how positively we tend to perceive others in our social environment is a highly stable trait that does not change substantially over time.

A take-a-way from this Part 1: What others say about you says more about them that you.

  1. Are you helped by considering that hurting people hurt people?  
  2. Does it help you not take offensive when someone is unjustly critical of you when you consider how it reflects on their own character?  Maybe pity for them can fill your heart rather than bitterness, resentment or anger?
  3. Would you be able to confront their hurtful words by doing kind things for them in return?

 

1 Wake Forest University (2010, August 3). What you say about others says a lot about you, research shows. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 27, 2013, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­/releases/2010/08/100802165441.htm


	

? ? ? Three Important Questions

Three questionsBeginning Monday, August 26th, I will dedicate at least one blog to each of three questions.  They are important questions that you can answer.  They bring you face to face with yourself.  They allow you to drill down to the core of yourself.  That can be hard to do.  Many people have fear to look deep within themselves and explore what it is that makes them who they are and determines what they do.  It can be fascinating to learn!

My challenge to you (and myself) is to think about these three questions over the weekend.  Allow yourself the time reflect on them. Try to be honest with yourself.  You may not have a complete answer to some of them yet.  You may have no answer yet, that is ok.  You have begun the journey by first knowing the questions to ask.  Each answer will be as different as we are as individuals.

These are Coaching type questions.  I love to ask them of others to draw them out, and up to new levels. Join me in this series by seriously considering these for yourself.  Post your answers below if you have some already.  I would love to share them here to encourage others.  Thanks!

Ready?

1. Who do others say you are?
2. Who do you say you are?
3. Who does God say you are?

You can do this.  Think about them.  Share thoughts or questions here.

 

Why Trying to ‘Fix it’ Does Not Help

by Rona Branson

Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”Couple talking

So often in marriage, our good intentions toward our spouse just do not get through in the way we intend. Recently while meeting with a newly married young couple, the wife was frustrated that her husband was not sympathetic when she told him about her difficulties at work. She comes home feeling disappointed and annoyed by the situation she had to endure.  She needs to talk about it, to vent. However, her husband’s response is not what she had hoped for. Though his intent is to help her, he actually makes things worse. What does he do? He tries to fix it. First, he gets angry and then gives an abundance of advice. “If you would just take control of this situation…” or, “Why don’t you just tell your coworker …” Then he expresses anger at her for the situation she is in.

It does not take a psychologist to figure out that his response is not going to make her feel better. Nor does it empower her to go to work the next day and do what he suggested would solve the problem. Rather, it leaves her feeling even more frustrated. In addition, she feels rejected and criticized by the one she thought would be on her side. Now, compounding her problems, she is not only frustrated about her work situation, but about her marriage as well. If she cannot share her feelings about work with her husband and get understanding, where can she go? She certainly is not going to share her concerns with him tomorrow.

How frequently this scene plays out in relationships. Yet there is a simple relationship principle that can easily “fix” this problem: When someone shares an emotion, the first response to him or her should always be an emotion. Ask yourself this question: How do I feel about what this person is going through? Then share that with him or her.  Alternatively, if the person shares a situation with you but does not express an emotion, say, “Wow, that must have made you feel ____________________.” (Insignificant, angry, overwhelmed, peaceful, etc.)

Imagine if the husband in the scenario above said, “I am so sad that you are going through that at work.” Or, “You must feel so frustrated by that situation. Do you think you should do anything?” Chances are the wife would have felt understood and cared for. Chances are she would want to discuss it further and the husband would have a chance to give some input or advice. This is an easy principle to apply in any relationship. It helps the person in the relationship to feel valued, validated and cared for. It only takes a sentence or two. Too often, our tendency is to give logic and advice first, which makes the other person feel criticized and unaccepted, as though their feelings are unimportant. I wonder how many arguments start right there.

It is easy to show we care but sometimes we need coaching to break bad habits learned in childhood and previous relationships. Let your good intentions shine through by learning to communicate in ways that your spouse can receive positively. Small changes like this one can make a big difference in meeting needs in the relationship. Try it out today and see if this principle works for you. Let me know how it works.

If you need more help with communication in your marriage. Call us today.

 

P.S.  A friend suggested this video to go with this blog, Check it out… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg&feature=em-share_video_user

If You Really Loved Me, You Would Know

If you really love me...“If you really loved me, you would know what I need.”

This might be one of the greatest lies out there. More importantly, it might be one of the biggest communication barriers in a marriage. Regrettably, many of us go into marriage with this unrealistic expectation – that somehow this person God gave me is not only going to meet my every need, but he/she is going to anticipate my needs without my having to spell it out for him/her.  Heartbreak sets in rather quickly. Sometimes it is on the honeymoon; sometimes you get a few months before you come to the realization that this person does not really get you at all.

Most of us did not grow up in homes that modeled clear communication and healthy conflict management. And, like it or not, we tend to do what we observed our parents doing. It takes being intentional and a great deal of effort to reprogram ourselves for the honest and vulnerable communication required for a marriage to survive.

Consider a husband, whose mother did everything for him, marrying a wife who grew up in a home that encouraged independence. He expects her to take care of him. She expects him to take care of himself. As a result, he feels neglected and hurt. Irritated, he throws a few snide comments her way and ignores her.

Deep inside he thinks, “If she really loved me, she’d know she should take care of me at lunch!”

She, sensing his irritation, asks that famous question, “Is something wrong?”

One of the most-used lies in relationships sputters from his mouth, “No. Nothing’s wrong, Why?”

The truth is no matter how trivial his hurt might seem, it is not trivial to him. He entered marriage with an expectation whether he realized it or not.  When expectations go unmet, people feel hurt. Even little hurts, if not addressed, build up over time and communication becomes increasingly strained.  Spontaneous affection–holding hands, affectionate touching – subsides because both parties hurt do but not talk about it. This cycle can continue until it virtually kills a marriage. Each spouse must realize the vital importance of working out the minor hurts, even if they appear trivial or unimportant to one or the other.

Work out the Hurts

1. Do not play the ‘Nothing’s Wrong’ game. If your spouse asks you what is wrong and you are hurt, do not lie and say, “Nothing is wrong.” Instead, choose to communicate and work things out.

If you are feeling upset, hurt, neglected or angry, share your emotions with your spouse in a non-critical and non-threatening way. Just tell the truth about your needs and expectations even if they seem small or trivial.

For Example: “I know it is silly, but my mom always fed me lunch and took care of me. It made me feel special and loved, and I guess without realizing it, I expected you to do that too. I’ve been feeling neglected because you don’t do that.” Non- threatening. Honest. Now they can laugh at the differences in their upbringing and land on a compromise that will work for both.

2. Do not ever stop communicating. Ever. Marriage requires constantly understanding expectations and working out compromises. It can be challenging but also rewarding and fun.  Trouble results when we stop – or we never start – letting the other person know how we feel. Rather than expecting your partner to read your mind or “just know” what you want or feel, communicate. The fruit of years of talking and being honest and finding compromises is truly knowing each other and sometimes even anticipating what the other wants or needs.

3. Choose to be vulnerable. Do not be afraid of it. Vulnerability is letting another person know your feelings, needs, expectations and hurts without blame. It is taking down the walls of protection we have up to let the other person truly see us. Too often spouses criticize, ignore, blame and avoid rather than just telling the other person transparently what they need or feel. For instance, instead of complaining that your spouse works too much, tell him or her how you are truly feeling. Instead of, “You are never home when I need you, this house is your responsibility too, you know…”, try, “I miss our times to just be together in the evenings! I’m missing being with you. Can we plan a time to put work aside and just spend some time together?” A spouse who feels cared for and missed is going to respond more positively than one who feels criticized and blamed. The second approach might feel more risky but it is more honest and more effective.

4. Take the initiative. Sometimes unmet expectations and unresolved hurts have gotten so deep couples forget how to talk to each other at all. Do not wait; ask your spouse if he/she is feeling hurt by you in your marriage. Listen without defending your actions. Listen for needs and expectations that have gone unmet. Them make every effort to meet those needs or to find a compromise that you both are happy with. Share your needs and hurts  in a non-critical way. Keep striving to communicate and meet needs even if your spouse lets you down. After all, that is what marriage is all about.

5. Get outside help if you need it. Find a coach, a counselor or a mediator. Attend a marriage conference that promotes good communication. These cycles can be stopped. Your marriage can be repaired. Love and positive feelings can be restored. Do not give up! Get help.

 

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At least 17 Things Parents Need To Know:

Funny GirlsI sat beside my three children at a local coffee shop savoring the moments together. They are becoming very rare that the five of us have some “hang” time. My children are fun and inspiring. I still think I have some things to offer them in their maturing process but now I am more a student of them. Watching them grow is amazing.  My wife, and co-laborer in this parenting process, remains my best friend and partner in our role as parents.Bransons at Frothy Monkey

Most of my Facebook friends are parents, so I posted a request on my wall for sage advice from them on what parents need to know. I learned from them, hopefully you will find a nugget of insight for yourself too! Here is a selection of their comments.

  1. His Grace is new every morning.
  2. How to share their faith with their children.
  3. No child is perfect, but God’s saving grace is! (BF)
  4. Pick your battles! Not everything is worth the energy or time to ‘fight’ over!!
  5. Listen: It gives children, power and trust.
  6. Read to them, read with them, let them read to you.
  7. Kids thrive on acceptance, encouragement, AND correction.
  8. Give them permission to succeed AND permission to fail.
  9. Bike helmets work.
  10. Daddies, love your daughters. If she doesn’t find love and acceptance and affection from you, she will one day soon find it from another man.
  11. It can be cleaned up, it can be replaced, it will heal.
  12. Words can not be taken back and they will be remembered well. Choose them well.
  13. There is no greater kindness than when God lets you watch your children become the adults He intended them to be.
  14. Time together. There is no substitute.
  15. Disciple them to love and follow Jesus. In the end, that’s all that really matters.
  16. How to communicate love in a language your child understands. Time, Touch, Gifts, Words of affirmation, Service.
  17. Having a child is a lifetime commitment. You are in this until death do you part, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. Yes, it sounds like wedding vows, and it should.

 

 

Where Do I Start?

Together-Header-Web-large.pngThere is a lot to sort through in life.  In our youth the responsibilities were less, time seemed to last a long time, feelings like, “bored” might even be possible.  In the later years of life, we find time flying by, each year seems shorter.  Responsibilities may have lessen, boredom may have returned.

Most likely the reader of this blog will be somewhere in-between those stages of life.  You may be caring for young ones or aging adults. Your vocational choices may not be all that you had hoped and are wondering how to make a change. The search for ourselves, what we will do as we become an adult, the assessment of what we have already tried, the quest for satisfaction and meaning in our days may be where you are  right now.

I want to encourage you to not panic or lose hope.  Begin now to step forward with grace and purpose.  What is holding you back?  The past? The unknown future?  Paralysis in the present?

“Where do I start?”,  I was asked recently by a man overwhelmed by his life circumstances.  My answer my seem simple, yet it works.  Start right here, right now with yourself.  You are the only thing that you can control and for most of the people I know that are losing traction, it is self-awareness and self-control that they need first to move forward.

Know yourself, then know others.  I use those steps to help people be free, confident and in charge of where they are and where they are going.  Let’s talk about it sometime.

Keith Talks

Keith speakingTo arrange for Keith to speak, coach, or train call 615-596-4474 or email keith@keithbranson.com. The topics, listed alphabetically, below can be adjusted to your needs.  Other topics can be presented as well.

Speaking Topics:

1.Abortion and Men – A highly charged topic with surprising outcomes! Learn what Abortion does to men and what they can do about it.  Discussion can be tailored for all ages.

2. Age to Age – Life’s transitions are easier when we know three things; who we are, what we need, and how we can finish well. Understanding the truth about yourself and how to be satisfied through every season of life, is possible!

3. Conflict – We all have it in our lives at some level. Learn how to manage tensions, prevent abuse and create satisfying solutions. There are four key stages that I guarantee will lead to long-lasting, satisfying relationships.

4. Death and Dying – Preparing for departure from our earthly bodies is not as hard as people imagine. Know the basic things that legally must be done at death and options you have before and after death. Alternative funeral ideas are included in this presentation.

5. Leading from back stage – Leadership models, principles and “how-tos” abound. Most have you in charge, leading from the front and center. Strength, guidance, vision and direction can be instilled in a team, a family and other groups without having your face or name on the headline and your place in the front of everyone.

6. Marriage and Family – What else could possibly be taught on this topic with so many resources already available? Divorces are still occurring, blended families are now the majority of households, same-sex relationships in marriage and parenting are legal. A fresh, relevant talk on today’s tough issues.

7. Men – The world needs godly men; men who will step up and courageously lead and serve at home, at church, at work and in their communities. Learn what holds men back, how to bring them forward and empower them to fulfill their role and mission.