I talked with the bride-to-be about her plans to marry. Even though the wedding day is several months away, she was grateful to be able to attend a weekend intensive workshop designed to help any marriage, most especially marriages in extreme crisis.
Her parents, attended the workshop two years earlier and the destroyed relationship was rebuilt, their marriage given a new life, the family restored to health, and hope was born anew for everyone involved. Why was this oldest daughter going through the experience with her fiance when they had not even said the vows to one another yet? It was her parents’ wish. Actually it was their requirement of her and all her siblings.
As a condition of supporting the wedding the parents are requiring each of their children to attend the workshop before they are married to receive the tools, resources and perspective they need to have a deep level of commitment, love and intimacy in their marriage.
This story is beautiful in so many ways. One is the fact that this young girl and her future mate are willing to prepare for the future in this way. It is so encouraging to all of us that have weathered marital challenges, saying afterwards that we wished we had known preventive methods earlier in our relationship.
Conflict prevention is a part of my work with individuals, couples and groups. This is a great example of doing that in a marriage commitment. She told me that she will gladly go to the training she needs for marriage to prevent her future family from going through what she and her siblings endured with her parent’s struggles.
When I asked her for an email to send the enrollment information, she laughed and told me that she and her fiance had a new email address. “A” new email? Don’t you have individual ones? Not anymore. We decided to begin our oneness preparation by sharing one address together. Then she gave me the email address. It is her and his first name, their date of marriage @(blank.com).
When I shared this story in a mixed group, the ladies in unison, said, “Awe, how sweet!” The guys just shrugged their shoulders. I couldn’t containment my excitement about this whole plan with the finale about the joint email.
Guys, look this is brilliant! Everyday, this groom will be seeing his bride’s name and their wedding date. Don’t you see the conflict management built into this incredible idea? He will remember his wife’s name, his wedding date and will be able to do the math quickly to say how many years he has been married upon request for the rest of his life!
I am a quick learner. Here is my new one: keithrona12586@gmail.com. Wife’s name? Rona. Check! Anniversary Date? January 25, 1986. Check! Years married? ah….26. Check!
